Managing the stress of special needs

I love my kids more than anything but as a full time working mom of three,  I am going CRAZY trying to manage all the appointments.   My children each have their own special needs that have to be managed.  Gavin with his EoE and eight hundred issues a week that come with it,  Olivia for her anxiety and attention seeking behavior that only seems to get worse with Gavin's ever growing list,  and Lily who we haven't even started with yet because she's the lesser of the evils at this point and I pray she starts to normalize with a little extra love and some discipline.   How in the world do you find the time and energy a parent to do it all!!??!!

1.  Be blessed
You can and will manage things.  Take a deep breath every morning before jumping into the day and say thank you and just lost through all that you are grateful for.  This keeps your inner strength going and focused on what is going right versus what is really hard work.  Everyday I'm grateful for the hugs and kisses my babies give me.  I'm grateful for the ability to do the best I can with what I have.  I'm grateful for a body that is capable of being pushed and challenged.  And I'm grateful for those around me who understand my madness and not only support me but allow me to support them. 

Be present in each moment and enjoy it for everything it has.  Even if it is as simple as brushing your child's hair and getting  her dressed.  Make that your focus 100% and be blessed it is pastor your day.   This will help you appreciate so much more!

2.  Prioritize your priorities constantly. 
I am always rearranging what is more important at the moment.  There is always a list of what must get done,  what should get done, and what can wait.   Dishes,  laundry, and other things that take me away from  the top two teirs are things that can wait!  It means I have to be ok with clutter sometimes but I've learned to handle that! 

3.  Meditate or do something for you everyday!
Parents, this is HUGE !!! you have to be in a good spot mentally to be able to handle the madness of being a parent... Not to mention the parent of children that may need a little more than the average.  This means taking are of your body and mind.  Fuel it with the proper foods for energy and health,  push your  body to exercise and get strong physically to prove that you can mentally.  And even if it's just for 60 seconds a day... BREATHE!!!  Whether it's before a task that you need to vigilantly focus on or just to decompress, inhale all that is good and exhale the negative thoughts and actions that are going on inside you.

4. Get organized
I'm not an organized person by nature.   I have notes everywhere.  I am spontaneous with my actions and run with ideas immediately before they lose their momentum.  This type of personality can lead to a little stress when it comes to neat and orderly.  My advice... Or at least what I do to keep it together is this:
-keep one electronic calendar in your phone of everybody's stuff.   And set notifications 48 hours in advance so you can make arrangements if you forget it was scheduled.
-keep a separate notebook or calendar for each topic or child.  For example,  I have a mini planner that goes with me to all of Gavin's appointments.  If something happens during the days,  like a reaction,  I write it down on the day it occurred.  This gives me one thing to bring and maintain when it comes to his health. 
-maintain a separate planner for your business day.  Since I work full-time,  I have a planner of my work hours and what I doing during those 8 hours a day.  Since I also run a home business that I am busting my butt to be successful,  I maintain a seperate planner with my coaching business info in.  

These things do not make for a smooth day without bumps or confusion but they make it work for me with the ability to keep my insanity intact.   I have been able to subcategorize my life and my roles and I keep them divided in order to keep them running efficiently.  However pulling it all together to just allow me to me me sometimes is where I personally struggle.  I feel like some day that will be able to become a part of my personal development plan bit for today,  I need to do my best for them and these are the priorities. 

We have to be superheros!  Sorry parents,  but there's no way around it!  You have to be able to take on the world at any given moment and handle it with the grace and patience that we want our children to emulate.  I can't change the adults in the world.  I can't force them to be more patient or to do things a certain way.  I can only hope to be a strong enough presence in my children's lives that they remember the way that I have learned to manage stress and learn from it.   My life has come a long way from self medication, pharmaceutical medication,  and panic attacks that stopped me from experiencing life.  Once I realized that I needed to be stronger and better for them,  I found ways to make that happen and to find peace with it all.   I love to be able to work through these things with other parents to help them find their balance as well.   But first things first moms and dad's,  you have to get your stuff together in order to take care of the rest!!  Let's find the way to do that.  You're kiddos deserve that and so do you!!!

Hope that helps sometime and I'd love to hear about the tips you have to share as well!

<3 Lisa Fickenworth

Officially an allergy mom

So if it wasn't a strong enough feeling being the crazy mom in the aisles of the grocery store reading every label as if it a contract guarding my soul, today topped the cake as far a me realizing that I'm officially and allergy mom!   This past weekend Gavin suffered his first allergic reaction that scared me into action.  He had had a cough and cold for about two days already when this all went down and initially I thought that's what was going on... A rough coughing fit.  

I had been meal prepping and making shrimp for the following day when my youngest distracted me away from the stove.   The shrimp and the seasoning stuck to the pan creating a little smoke by the time I had gotten back to it.   Gavin was extremely tired and coughing.  He kept telling me that he wanted to go to bed.   So I told him to go upstairs while I cleaned up and got everything off the stove.   When I got upstairs,  he was coughing uncontrollably and began wheezing.   I had never heard this before and a million things ran through my head!   Finally it dawned on me that shellfish was a top allergen and he was reacting.  

I got him out of bed and into the porch but it still wasn't away enough for him.   I put him in the can and was planning on rushing him over to the hospital.  He needed a breathing treatment or something!   However the strangest thing happened and within three minutes,  his cough was gone and his breathing was normal.   We drove around that night for about 2 hours while I waited for the house to clear.   And on Monday I got on the phone with every doctor he had.   There were no emergency plans in place should something like this happen and have escalated.   My only option was benadryl.   The allergist scheduled new testing and called us in a script.   He now has his epi pen Jr.   I thought that having that would bring me comfort but it's brought an overwhelming sense of anxiety.   Knowing he has food allergies is one thing,  having to handle the reaction is another.   But I'd rather be prepared just in case then feel like I've got nothing.   I just wish there was a magic pill!  

So the good thing is that I know how to use this thing after years of being a red cross Instructor so I stopped at my mom's,  gave her the extra and provided the lesson.

1) remove the blue pin lid
2) hold the sides with a grip
3) using some force,  jab the epi pen into the Thigh of the individual in need of care until you hear it click
4) hold it there for 10 seconds
5) call 911

We practiced a couple times then found a spot where the kids couldn't accidently get it.   I'm not sure if it should stay in my purse or the cupboard?  Do I get a cool pouch from Etsy?  Do I get a couple extras for school and my purse?   Not quite sure how to handle this one...